I knew that duck attacks were a common problem in 2010 America, but putting it in such simple terms seems to have struck a nerve. The response to the “Nibbled to death” post has surprised me.
Several people have asked me about the “the friend who texts because she is bored.” They asked, “Is it me?”
No, no, of course not! It’s, uh, my other friend. Yeah, the other one that you will probably never meet. But think about it. If you feel you have to ask, then, yes, it is you.
Truth is, it’s me, too.
So what? It doesn’t change the point. It is up to each of us to choose whether to respond right away.
We all get bored sometimes. We find ourselves with a little downtime in the doctor’s waiting room or parked outside basketball practice. We stand in line at the grocery store. There is nothing good on the radio while we sit in the traffic jam. Our iPod battery dies on the bus ride home. The thought of a good friend crosses our minds, and so we pull out the cell and send a quick message.
Please hear me when I say that this is a good and wonderful thing, a blessing to be treasured. I love to get messages from friends just because they happened to think of me. The point I was making in “Nibbled to death” was about the feeling that I must drop whatever I am doing at the moment and immediately respond. This is completely my own internal pressure, not something I feel is being demanded by my friends.
If you are texting fifteen times in a row, insisting on a response this very moment or else, you are a problem for your friends. No one in my life is doing that, so everybody, relax.
One of the beauties of texts is that they do not require an immediate response most of the time. They can just lounge around in your inbox, hanging out until you get around to them. Most of the time, an immediate response is neither required nor expected. It is actually quite nice to find a message from a friend waiting, even if it’s from four hours ago and just says, “Whatcha doin’?” I love having people in my life who will ask me that. I love having friends who understand that I am not always free to answer right away. I hope I extend that understanding to others.
So, go ahead! Reach out and text someone. Know that by doing so, you are helping to strengthen the ties that true friendships are made of.
